Freedom
by Kir Sirin
Summary: “Light-kun, you are free to leave.” Free? “But, L, what if…I don’t want to?” LxLight One-shot. M rated.


This is a sort of apology for my lack of _Death Note_ and, when I finally post something L**x**Light related, it's a song. Haha. Forgive me?

Come on, I wrote you yaoi! I never write such steamy stuff. I hate it, so you _should_ _forgive_ me.

* * *

**Freedom**

The chain fell away from Light's wrist like a heavy regret. The brunette looked up to find L staring at him with that usual deadpanned expression.

"L, what—"

"Light-kun, you are free to leave." L stated bluntly. Matsuda gave a cheer in the background and, suddenly, Light felt as if he was about to throw up.

Free?

"But L," what was he saying? He should stop himself right now! This is what he wanted, what he planned so hard for! He was finally free to build his new world, what more could he, "what if…" What if _what_? "I don't want to?"

L paused, clearly not seeing this outcome unfolding beforehand. He blinked, as if coming to a bitter resolution. "You can still be on this investigation, Light-kun, but you will not be handcuffed to me anymore." He fought the tiny scream his heart was trying to voice as a sudden grip of sadness overwhelmed him.

For a moment, he almost thought that Light…

"But…" Light didn't look away, he wouldn't, couldn't, back down from this new challenge. There was something lurking there behind Ryuuzaki's eyes but Light could only see himself.

That was the thing about L's eyes that made Light never wish to look at him. They were so dark, so black and empty, that they only showed Light. He could see the terrible things about him in those eyes and he hoped that, well…

He hoped that maybe Ryuuzaki _couldn't_ be able to see those things.

This sudden emotion startled him. It attacked him viciously and the teen knew that the only way to guard against the attack was to either put the handcuff back on or…

But he couldn't! Not with everyone watching him like this…

"Light-kun," L leaned forward, sensing the sudden heavy air falling down on Light. "Are you all right?" It was a genuine question but the lack of emotion flowing within it tore down its effect.

"L…" The back of Light's mind screamed. _Kira_ would never let his pathetic feelings get in the way of his dream! _Kira_ would never sacrifice his utopia for one person, much less the person most against him! _Kira_—"I'm not Kira…" Light said softly.

Or, at least some part of him wasn't.

L could have smiled, although he was sure it would have looked awkward coming from lack of experience, so he simply said, "Light-kun, that is why I am releasing you. You are…Not Kira." Those words were the hardest L would ever have to say. Part of him still pointed its finger to Light, but…Everything else _didn't_.

"I'm not…" _But I am_. Light swallowed thickly, feeling his throat coil around his breath.

L sighed, perhaps the boy was broken? "Light-kun, you are free. Isn't this what you wanted?" He laid a hand on Light's shoulder, knowing that was the normal action in such situations. "Enjoy your life."

_Enjoy it? _"But L…What if…" Light placed his hand over L's and sighed deeply, it felt so delicate, so strong and soft at the same time. He tightened his hold on it and closed his eyes. "L…"

Ryuuzaki stopped the flinch that crawled up the back of his curved spine. There was something in Light's voice, something when he touched him, it…Wasn't normal. He couldn't be sad about leaving, he had complained about being around the detective for the entire time, so then what?

Another puzzle was thrown before L, but in its transfer, some of the pieces seemed to have been broken. He wasn't sure he would be able to solve it in time. But the answer, one way or another, he would retrieve, no matter what.

"Son, why are you still here?" Mr. Yagami spoke from what sounded like miles away. "Go home!"

L looked to Light but he appeared as if he hadn't heard his father. _He'll hear me. _"Light-kun—"

"Stop it L."

"Excuse me?"

Light squeezed L's hand. "Just stop it. Why do you want me to leave so badly? You still think I'm Kira, don't you? Doesn't the sight of me just _disgust_ you? Someone who kills to make others safe? The very idea of it makes you want to throw me out like a disobedient dog, huh?" Light looked up and caught L's gaze with a hard glare. "Fine, go ahead," he seethed. "Throw me away. I wasn't Kira so you have no more use for me, right? If I was Kira you'd want to have me around, wouldn't you? Because then I would be interesting, I would be something new and fresh. Now I'm nothing but a miscalculation."

L was taken aback by the sudden anger in Light's eyes. "Light-kun—"

"Say it, L." Light hissed into the detective's face. "Say you want me to be Kira."

"It is true that some part of me wished for you to be Kira, but that has nothing—"

"Fine," Light leaned into L's ear and whispered, "I'm Kira."

L's eyes widened.

"And you want to know something else? I've fallen in-love with you."

"Light-kun…Why-you were free-why are you…?"

"Interesting isn't it?" Light's voice dripped malice as he spoke softly into L's ear. "Why would I confess now? I was finally safe and able to be away from you. Why should I confess? Now you have to know. Now you'll keep me around to figure out the answer, even if I'm in a prison cell, you'll come to visit me just so you can know the answer to my riddle." Light's shoulders fell heavily and he rested his forehead on L's shoulder. "And…I'm fine with that. As long as I see you everyday…As long as you're with me…Because I'm in-love with you, L."

"In…Love…?"

Light gave a smile. "Surprising, isn't it? I couldn't…Explain the feelings I had for you until just now…When you…Pushed me away." He wrapped his arms around L and held on tightly. "Don't take me away just yet, please…"

L's heart swelled with emotion at Light's soft voice. He looked to the other Task Force Members and found them staring at him. They couldn't hear what was said, Light was speaking too softly, and so L waved them out of the room. "Please leave us. I wish to express something private with Light-kun."

They did as they were told and left, quietly murmuring their suspicions.

L took a deep breath and pulled Light away from him. "Light-kun—"

"Not yet." Light whispered.

And their lips met.

Light gently took L's face in his hands and leaned desperately into the kiss. He pressed their chests together and closed his eyes slowly.

L leaned back in his computer chair, unsure of what to do. His mind worked out the different situations this could turn into and the inevitable outcome of Light's confession, but his mind went blank as he felt Light's tongue gently graze over his pale lips. L's mouth opened slowly, in shock that his mind had actually stopped its insistent singing melodies of logic.

The detective grew rigid as Light's tongue slowly slid over his own and curled around it. He couldn't breathe properly as Light's hand descended from his cheek down to the pale flesh of his shoulder underneath his white shirt. His dark eyes finally fell close as Light's lips fell down his neck and the brunette whispered, "L…"

"Light-kun…" L whispered as Light took off his shirt. "The cameras…"

"You can delete this when we're finished." Light threw the shirt to the floor and kissed L's collarbone.

_Never. _L wanted to say, but his breath became caught in the folds of his throat as Light's fingers fell down his bare chest.

Light stood up from his chair and gathered L into his arms. He placed his gently onto the ground and kissed him deeply. L was taken aback by the sudden action and he curled his toes as the cold ground bit into his hot back. His fingers curled around fabric as L arched his back into Light.

He could feel a smile press against his lips.

"Do you want me to take this off?" Light whispered, the small hint of Kira's satisfaction of L being underneath him showing through his sly tone.

But L's mind could no longer function correctly, or else he would have stopped this here and now. Instead of whispering, "Yes."

Light leaned back and took off his light colored blazer and L, in an attempt to show dominance, grabbed his red tie and pulled him down for a rough kiss once it was off.

Light tried to smile but L quickly took off his tie and button-down shirt and started to explore the teen with his spidery fingertips. He quickly bit down on his lip to stifle a chuckle as L pressed deeply into his rib.

L, with a hint of a smile on his face, asked innocently, "What's the matter, Light-kun?"

"Stop it that tickles, L." Light couldn't stop the laugh that spilled from his lips.

"Really?" L leaned forward as his hand fell lower and whispered, "Does this tickle, Light-kun?" The back of his hand scraped against Light's pants as it fell lower.

Light took a sharp intake of breath through clenched teeth and rested his head on L's shoulder once again, "No…"

"It doesn't? Then I suppose I should stop, since this offers nothing pleasing for you." L drew his hand away.

Light was torn between anger and amusement. He should have known L would trap him like this. The detective would never let Light win willingly. "You want me to beg? Fine, but you'll still be on the bottom."

"I don't make compromises, Light-kun." L said slowly. "You'll be the one on the—"

"Oh, L, please, dear God _please_." Light begged softly.

L stayed still for a fraction of a moment but it was too late, Light had won. The sound of the brunette actually _begging_ sent a cold fire into L's stomach.

Light, swimming in his victory, commanded, "Now take my pants off." And, much to his surprise, L obeyed. "Do you want me to continue?" Light asked seductively. "L, please, I need it. I need you. Please—"

"Light-kun, maybe you should stop—"

"I'll _explode_ if you don't. God, I need you, L. _Please_."

L closed his eyes. He didn't want to give Light what he wanted, at least not when he was high on his victory like that, but he couldn't help it. With every word, every thick breath Light released, L's hands felt desire prick at his palms. He had never given into temptation to anyone, not even himself, but with Light he just _couldn't stop himself_.

"L, I—"A gasp broke through Light's words as L relieved him of his boxers and curled his fingers around his length. He let out a small moan as L tightened his hold and quickened his pace. It took everything in him just to hiss, "S-Stop…Ryuuzaki…"

L let go and felt a bit insulted. "Not satisfying?"

"Uh…No…I just…" Light looked away for a moment and then proceeded to take off L's remaining clothes. "…Are you, um, ready?" He suddenly felt awkward. L, for a moment, was actually doing what _he_ wanted. He would have let L continue but Light had a much better plan.

"Will it hurt?"

Light smiled genuinely. "I would never allow myself to hurt you." And, as he pushed inside of L, he realized how _true_ that statement was.

He could never hurt L…

He…Could never kill…

**L**.

In a mixture of moans and heavy breathing L pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around Light's neck, drawing the teen deeper inside of him. "L-Light, I'm…" L closed his eyes and bit back the moan bubbling from his throat as he felt everything inside of him tighten. "I'm in-love with you."

Light buried his face in the crook of L's neck and cried out softly as his body released a wave of pleasure over him. He separated himself from the detective and held his face in his hands. "L, I'm sorry but…I could never kill you…I…Didn't expect to…Fall for you. It wasn't part of the plan. I can't, _Kira_ cant, could never…"

"L Lawliet." L said softly. A jolt of unconscious fear shot through his core as he realized what his heart had just condemned him to. "My name…Is…"

"L Lawliet." Light smiled. "All this time…You truly gave me your name when we met." He shook his head, the smile shining brilliantly through his soft features. "I can't believe it. L, do you really love me?"

"Yes…Light. My heart has taken you."

Light pulled L into a tight embrace. "Thank God. I love you so much, L. I was so afraid you wouldn't…I mean…" He let out a rush of air. He held L tighter as he whispered, "Okay…You can arrest me now. I finally have you, your heart, and, somewhere along the way, that's all I desired." There was a pause. "L? Lawliet? Are you—"

"I can't."

"What?"

"I…Can't…" L desperately held onto Light as if he were falling out of his arms. "I can't, I can't, I can't."

"You can."

"No…Light…You're mine, finally mine, I can't lose you to a cold cell. I can't."

"Then what will we do?"

"No one else heard you, you were speaking too softly. And…I…I can always…Erase this surveillance."

"How?"

"It…Its on my computer…The footage automatically downloads into the hard drive…I suppose I could erase all of it. But…You will have to do something for me, Light."

"Anything."

"Get rid of it. Don't kill anyone, ever, and…"

"And?"

"Never leave me."

Light could feel the desperation in L's embrace and could hear it clearly in his voice. "I love you, L Lawliet, and I would never leave you."

A sigh escaped L's lips and he allowed himself a smile. For once in his life, he wouldn't have to fight; he wouldn't have to push everything away for Justice.

He could be happy.

"I love you, Light."

"I do too." Light smiled triumphantly. _I love how easy you are to fool. L Lawliet, heh, and now I know where the only evidence is._

_All according to plan._

Kir Sirin.

P.S. Now you have permission to hate me. :D


End file.
